Sunday, January 15, 2012

*~*What A Day!*~*

Today started out GREAT! We spent time together playing with Mr. James and cuddling in the bed. Then we got ready and ventured out to Target. James attended his first birthday party today, too. The day was going GREAT!! We had a successful ALL day outing. We try to limit outings to 3-4 hours because of feedings and not because I care about public feeding, I just find it easier for both of us when we are in our comfort zone- dont get me wrong, little piggy will eat ANYWHERE;)  Then, we went to dinner with J's godparents. This is where things got messy. Mama bear came out, and so did the cops. We went to a new restaurant to try it out. We started fixing our food (it was a hibachi grill/chinese buffet). We went to sit down and the waitress FINALLY brought our drinks. dun-dun-dun. She obviously could not handle tha many drinks. My iphone was on the table (lesson learned). A WHOLE cup of coke went flying all over the table, covering my phone. James and I got soaked with coke too. Iwasnt happy. First you wet my CHILD! My six week old baby. While I was making sure he was ok, my husband was trying to fix my phone. The waitress and her boss were TAKING the phone from him to fix it. AHH! A whole ordeal developed. My speaker is now busted yet I have to go get "proof" of liquid damage before they will replace it. And YES they ARE going to. Anywho. None of us ate- therefore were not going to pay. J's godmother was taking pics for evidence we were there (just incase they refuse to pay tomorrow). We all started to leave and then the ladies were yelling at her for taking pictures and us not paying. They called the cops- uhm, dumb. The cop did NOTHING and told them there was nothing they could do. It was a civil issue. So we didnt pay,and I have to deal with a busted phone until tomorrw. So what started as a successful outing day ended in me in tears and us with no dinner..... phew. Now its bed time!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

First **FAMILY** Christmas

For the past few years, something has been missing on holidays. I spent my Christmas' sad while watching the other parents in my family (and two of those were teen parents) with their children opening gifts and ultimately being happy. I couldn't help but wonder why I was not able to feel that kind of joy. Christmas of 2009 was my LAST Christmas of tears. Christmas of 2010- I cried. But not the same crying I had felt years before. I was happy. REALLY happy:) Now, for a 3 week old, some think we may have went overboard, but it was James' first Christmas and whether he remembered or not, I would. He had presents from mommy and daddy AND Santa on Christmas morning. Grandparents, aunts, and uncles all had gifts for him too. I was overwhelmed. There was so much love and happiness that it was almost overload. Our Christmas journey started at 2pm on Christmas Eve.  Our first stop was his paternal grandmother's family. Since the birth of J, my mother in law has found a "love" for me, but it is only because of James. Anywho. He received a book ( I LOOOOOVE books for him), a giant stuffed bear, some clothes, a gift card, diapers, a big box of Baby Einstein toys,and a stuffed frog. After we left, we went to my family gathering at 6. I have a huge family. My family was also really supportive during my infertility journey. My mom and step dad were extremely excited and they SPOILED James for Christmas ( I can only imagine how its gonna be next year when he can enjoy it more.... theyve already started buying!). From here, James got so much stuff. My sister got him another box of the Baby Einstein toys, books, and a  Family's First Christmas ornament. My mom got him....... books, clothes, blocks, a big stuffed dog, a ring stack toy, bath tub toys, and oh my I can not even remember it all (there will be a picture). After we left here, we went home to get James ready for bed so that Santa would come visit :) This was fun! I put him in his pajamas, read him The Night Before Christmas, and we sang a few Christmas songs. Once he was asleep, Matt and I sat out "Santa" and went to sleep ourselves. James woke us up (after all the nightly wakes) at 730. Being a newborn, of course I nursed him before we celebrated. First, we gave him Santa. Then we opened all of our stuff. From Santa- He got carseat toys, a book, a sock monkey, an ornament, and a glow seahorse. From us, he got a tummy time play mat, clothes, soft books, and toys. Around lunch time, we went to his paternal grandfather's family gathering. Here he got a mobile and clothes!

Overall, we had an awesome first Christmas. I can NOT wait for the ones to come, thats for sure. Though James will not remember this, we have the stories and pictures for him when he is older.

Here is all of his loot (minus some clothes and toys that had already been put away...oops)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

*First Month*

We left the hospital after James was only 2 days old! That's right! We left on Friday, December 2, 2011 to come home and start our life. The first couple weeks, mama was a mess. I had bad baby blues. A lot of it was because I was stuck (had driving restrictions due to csection), Matt works 2nd so I was alone with James at night (being alone with him wasnt the issue, being in the middle of BFE and it dark made me lonely) so a lot of tears were shed. We had many visitors. I say we, but lets face it, I mean James. He is the star of this show now, not me. Anyway, eventually, I adjusted to the no sleep routine. Since we are breastfeeding, it was a lot harder because Matt and I couldn't "take turns" getting up at night. When James was one week old, we made our first visit to the pediatrician. Everything checked out great. Since we were out (and there was NO food in our house) we stopped in at Firehouse to eat. That went smoothly. The next day, I had my staples removed.

As time went on, things got easier, I was definitely adjusting to the mom role. I have that "paranoid new mom syndrome". I swear if it could be wrong, it was. Dr. Google was not  (and still is not) my friend. At his one month check up he was 9lbs, 21 inches long. Still a healthy booger! Fat, but healthy :) The one month check up was simple. Its the 2 month one that has me frazzled. That is the shot visit :( At one month this is what Mr. J looked like:
He was curled up with Daddy before his doctors visit.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

*Birth Story*

On November 28, 2011, I was going to MFM for my *LAST* ultrasound. I was 38w1d. I had been being monitored because of my blood pressure issues (it was not pre eclampsia, I was tested twice and again the day this day too). That weekend, I had been feeling bad, as in sick, with headaches and getting sick. My blood pressure was 151/100. Instead of insisting bed rest, or even monitoring me in the hospital, they filled me with all these what if fears and insisted induction. I had my last meal at 515 pm on Monday (I did not get to eat again until Wednesday at 7pm). At 6pm they inserted Cervidel. I instantly started feeling contractions. Here we go; or so I thought. They came in on Tuesday Nov. 29 at 6am and removed the cervidel. I was dilated to a 1. I was allowed to shower and walk around for about an hour and a half. At about 9am, they started me on Magnesium (for the bp stuff) and pitocin. Bc of the Magnesium, I was not allowed to walk around which SUCKED! I was bed confined until Thursday (had magnesium until then). At 4pm my doctor came in to break my water. Only it wasnt that easy. Because of James' position, they could not get to my bag. I was in excruciating pain. Have in mind, we were shooting for a natural birth. About 5pm, they tried again. No luck. I was offered an epidural (only bc they could not break my water, contraction wise, I was great). Matt and I discussed it bc it was not what we wanted. He cried more than I did, but we did it. And my water was broke. They continued to monitor me all night. After about 36ish hours of being in the hospital and in labor, I only got to 3 cm. It was Wednesday morning at 730 when i was told I would need a csection. I was crying, matt was crying. But at this point, I felt helpless and like a failure. So, they prepped me for the csection. The meds made me soooo sick. I was sick. Sick. My BFF Courtney and my Mama handled that part well. About 945am  I was being wheeled back to get  on the table. Matt was brough in about 10 am and they got started. At 1012 am on November 30, 2011, we welcomed a 6lb12oz 19 3/4 in long baby boy into the world. Isnt he cute??
After he was born, they took him to NICU because of his breathing. Once again, Daddy said he cried (at this point I was out of it). Right after I heard his cry, I started feeling pain from them in finishing up. Not the normal push and pressure of a csection, but actual pain. So they were giving me meds. James was gone approximately 20 minutes and was brough back right as they were finishing up. Bc of his NICU visit, I didnt get the classic Csect picture (sad I know). But Matt carried his baby to recovery. I remember hearing him talking to James and was in awe of how a switch changed him. In recovery, I was so loopy. Matt helped me hold my sweet boy and family and friends were in and out to see me. One at a time. Then we got a room, FINALLY so they took James to clean him and put us in our room. I was so thankful for my little miracle. When he was brought to me, I was coherent and I cried. Cried like a baby. This was the moment I had been waiting on for many many years, months, weeks, hours, minutes. He was here. He was mine. And NOONE could take him away from me! So here is James' birth story. :)

Friday, January 6, 2012

Our Story

 Our story began July 21, 2004 when Matt and I met and began dating. I was a junior in high school (16) and he was finishing his associates degree (21). We dated until I finished high school in 2006. We got engaged and married 9/22/07. Shortly before we were married, I started noticing issues with my reproductive system. The doctor I saw was horrible and told me that my only problem was I was overweight and there was nothing that could be done. I was 19 and devastated because I had been dealing with crappy weight issues too. For 4.5 years I thought I would never have a child. * if you are interested in reading what I did post along my TTC journey, you can find that blog here: * In February 2011, I finally went to another dr who diagnosed me with PCOS. It was bad. I was in bad shape. The goal was to treat me with metformin in attempts to regulate my body BEFORE starting clomid. The dr was positive metformin would not work alone. However, I instantly dropped approximately 25lbs and ended up pregnant after 2 weeks. For some reason on April 3, 2011 I got a hunch at 10pm to take a pregnancy test. Not expecting a positive, I got this:
HOLY COW, right?? By this time I was completely freaking out. I send a picture message to my best friend, Courtney (and you can find her here: and by this point we were both awstruck. SO. At 1030 pm we are throwing on pjs and running on out to walmart to buy the clear blue digitals and got the word PREGNANT!!!! I was all sorts of scared adn happy and confused. I about hit the floor. So my journey went from being sad and childless to ecstatic, nervous, and pregnant. We went to the doctor and my EDD was 12/11/11. On 6/25/2011, we found out that Baby Dean was a BOY and his name became James :) We welcomed him into our lives on 11/30/11. It was one of the happiest days of my life!! This is the story of us. My next post will be the birth story and I am going to do my best to keep up with this blog better than the last one :) hope you follow me on my crazy ride!